Tag: international ldr

90 Day LDR Challenge: Day 34

Day 34: What are some negative impacts you feel distance has made on your relationship?

Cat: I really feel like this LDR has had more of a positive impact on our relationship more so than a negative impact. We loved living together, but we lived with each other while we were both doing our master’s. It was pretty stressful, and towards the end, things got tough… But we made it through the storm, and while being in a LDR sounds like the thing that would really tear us apart, it really brought us closer together and made us stronger as individuals and as a couple. I think it has given us clarity in a way we had not yet. Babe?

Richard: Yeah, exactly what you said, babe. I can only say that it’s difficult when I really need a cuddle, but I know we’re strong as ever. 🙂

Don’t Dismiss Me: An Open Letter

Dear family and friends,

This letter isn’t for all of you. It’s for a select few.

It isn’t for those of you who have unconditionally supported my relationship.

It’s for those of you who don’t believe that Richard and I will make it in a LDR; for those of you who don’t believe my relationship is valid because it’s a LDR.

How does being 3,226 miles away from Richard invalidate the something special we have? How does being on the other side of the ocean immediately do away with my feelings of true love and genuine commitment?

Richard and I may not be in the same place geographically right now, but we’re on the same page about our feelings and our future. The same way you may be working towards marriage with your partner – that’s how Richard and I are working towards closing the distance.

Oddly enough, we live in a time when technology makes time and space almost irrelevant to our communications. I can Skype Richard the same way you see your partner on a daily basis. I can message Richard the same way you leave little notes on the kitchen counter for your partner.

Of course, these technologies don’t take away the time difference. And that makes it difficult when I have something on my mind at 9:00 pm my time and 2:00 am Richard’s time…  

That kind of time difference and that kind of distance means that some days are easier than others, just like some days are easier than others in your relationship. Your biggest issues may not be distance or time difference like it is for me, but it may be money, school, work, busy schedules, miscommunications, etc. You know what’s interesting? Those same issues exist in LDRs. And if anything, distance and time differences amplify them.

Maybe the reason you judge my LDR is because LDRs are so different from what is conceptualized as “normal” for relationships in society. And I can only imagine how scary that must be – to let go of preconceived notions you are so comfortable with, to let go of opinions that have shaped your entire life up to this point.

But even still: Just because the only thing separating my love and me is distance doesn’t mean my relationship is any less valid, any less worthy of your respect and your support.

You love your partner.

I love my partner.

Don’t dismiss my relationship. Don’t dismiss my love.

Don’t dismiss me.

Love,

Cat

Inspired by the LDRBN Prompt: Open Letter

Check out LDRBN!

90 Day LDR Challenge: Day 29

Day 29: Do you remember what you were both wearing the first time you video chatted (or saw each other)?

(Note: We decided to answer this question without knowing what the other person answered just to see what we would come up with on our own…)

Cat: Okay, the first time we met I was wearing jeans, a black long-sleeved shirt, brown booties and a burgundy leather jacket. I’m think Richard was wearing jeans, a black t-shirt, and a grey jacket?

Richard: We didn’t actually video chat before we met (I was shy.), but I believe I was wearing jeans, a leather jacket and a shirt. And Cat was wearing a maroon leather jacket and dark red pants(?).

Okay so it wasn’t a slam dunk, BUT we still sorta remember after almost 3 years, haha!

90 Day LDR Challenge: Day 27

Day 27: How long was the longest time you’ve ever not been in contact for? Why did that happen?

Cat: I think the longest we have ever been disconnected from each other has been a matter of hours… I know there are couples in LDRs out there that can’t talk to their SOs for days or even weeks, maybe even a month or so at a time! So, I’m definitely not complaining.

Richard: Ermmm, I’m not sure actually. It might have been about a day or so after Cat left DC for Manchester. But we’ve always managed to stay in touch one way or another 🙂