Tag: ldr so

90 Day LDR Challenge: Day 29

Day 29: Do you remember what you were both wearing the first time you video chatted (or saw each other)?

(Note: We decided to answer this question without knowing what the other person answered just to see what we would come up with on our own…)

Cat: Okay, the first time we met I was wearing jeans, a black long-sleeved shirt, brown booties and a burgundy leather jacket. I’m think Richard was wearing jeans, a black t-shirt, and a grey jacket?

Richard: We didn’t actually video chat before we met (I was shy.), but I believe I was wearing jeans, a leather jacket and a shirt. And Cat was wearing a maroon leather jacket and dark red pants(?).

Okay so it wasn’t a slam dunk, BUT we still sorta remember after almost 3 years, haha!

Our Top Ten Songs

Seeing so many posts yesterday about the top ten songs that remind everyone of their SOs and their LDRs made me think about the songs that make me think of Richard and our relationship.

Keep reading to check them out!

Mirrors – Justin Timberlake

I’m lookin’ right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold

When Justin Timberlake wrote The 20/20 Experience it was so clear just how deeply in love he was with his wife and now mother of his child, Jessica Biel. But what caught me off guard was just how much his lyrics would apply to my relationship with Richard! Justin’s “Mirrors” really captures how I feel about Richard – so much so that it’s definitely one of our main songs. When I look at Richard, I know I’m looking at the person who is my other half, who has filled a part of my heart that had been empty for some time but who also fills a part of my heart that I had no idea needed to be filled!

Diamonds – Rihanna

You’re a shooting star I see
A vision of ecstasy
When you hold me, I’m alive
We’re like diamonds in the sky

Okay so even though there are really sweet declarations of love in Rihanna’s hit, that’s actually not the reason I chose this song. When it came out, I was obsessed with the song as a piece on its own. Rihanna knows how to make ‘em! And so, I would start singing it or humming it randomly and every so often around Richard. At one point, he just asked “What song is that?” And I played it for him and he liked it too. The words are just an added bonus, but it just makes me think of how Richard and I love introducing each other to new songs. 🙂

Flowers in the Window – Travis

So now we’re here and now is fine
So far away from there and there is time, time, time
To plant new seeds and watch them grow
So there’ll be flowers in the window when we go

That part of Travis’ song makes me tear up every time I hear it. So, I can’t listen to this song all the time or I would be a blubbering mess! This song is written from the point of view of a person who was really cold and numb to everything before being in a relationship with his/her SO and how through falling in love this person can now appreciate the beauty of the world and see a beautiful future with them. Richard played this song one night for me randomly very early on in our relationship. And I just remember hearing it, listening intently to all the words, and I was just so flabbergasted. I asked him, “Is that really how you feel about me at this point?” And without hesitation, he said, “There’s no doubt.”

Mykonos – Fleet Foxes

Brother, you don’t need to turn me away
I was waiting down at the ancient gate
You go wherever you go today
You go today

“Mykonos" has one of the most beautiful, haunting beginnings. Those beautiful harmonies draw me in immediately, and they’re what made me love this song from the get-go. Now, although the song isn’t about a romantic relationship, the lines above remind me to be patient when Richard and I have disagreements. “You don’t need to turn me away/I was waiting down at the ancient gate.” Although I know we’re all human and we’re all bound to be guilty of it at one point or another, sometimes we don’t know what else to do but walk away. And while that hurts, we always tell each other that if either one of us gets upset at the other or if we both get upset at each other simultaneously, we will always give each other space when we need it but we will be waiting to reconcile with an open heart and an open mind.

Spanish Radio – Biffy Clyro

Hey! You can be lost at the same time as being found!

Richard played this song for the first time when we were doing chores around our apartment. I loved the beat, and we ended up taking a break and listening to it together. And when I looked into the lyrics, none of them really hit me until the last two lines. “You can be lost at the same time as being found!” Richard definitely makes me feel that way. I mean, there are so many unanswered questions that I have about myself and some parts of my life, but I also have Richard who makes me feel like I have found something so special even in the midst of the chaos that is life. 🙂

Feel My Love – Adele

I’ve known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

After Richard played me “Flowers in the Window”, I played him this beautiful Adele cover because it expressed how I felt about him at the time – and still do!

Open Your Eyes – Snow Patrol

Get up, get out, get away from these liars
‘Cause they don’t get your soul or your fire
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we’ll walk from this dark room for the last time

Richard shared this song with me when he wanted to show me the cool music video. The video was filmed by a guy driving around Paris at 5:00 am. It’s so cool to see the end result of that and to see Paris at that time during the day. Paris is one of my favorite cities in the world. 🙂 I loved the song, and I started listening to it a bit more. The lines that I have quoted here really reflect how much strength I feel Richard has given me to detach myself completely from negative people and negative energy in my life. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while, and I just knew I had to build the personal courage to do it for myself. And Richard was definitely one of the most important people in making that all happen.

You Are In Love – Taylor Swift

You can hear it in the silence, silence
You can feel it on the way home, way home
You can see it with the lights out, lights out
You are in love, true love

I might get some flack for it, but I’m all about keeping it 100% honest with you guys. So, I’m going to go ahead and say it: I was never a fan of Taylor Swift. Something about her songs when I was younger just didn’t click with me. She’s been wildly successful at such a young age, and on that level, I definitely respect that. Her music just never hit me the way that other artists’ work has throughout the years. But her 1989 album really did stike a chord with me, and the bonus track “You Are In Love” immediately made me think of Richard. It actually made me tear up a bit when I first heard it, and I made him listen to it even though he’s not a big fan of hers either. We know we’re in love with each other. I can definitely feel it not only when we tell each other or show each other how much we love each other, but I can feel it in the silence, which can be so much more profound than words or actions could ever be.

I’ll Be Seeing You – Billie Holiday

I’ll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I’ll be looking at the moon
But I’ll be seeing you

“I’ll Be Seeing You” is so special to me because it has helped me cope with the passing of some of my loved ones. A few days after Richard and I parted in January, I was listening to some music on shuffle, and this song came on. It made me think of how even being 3,226 miles away from him, I would be seeing him in every little thing around me. Something about Billie’s incredible voice and the beautiful melody of this classic just made me feel comforted at such a delicate time.

Rather Be – Clean Bandit

When I am with you, there’s no place I’d rather be

I love the upbeat feel of this hit! But most of all, I love the words because they could not be more true to me and to Richard as we’re fighting the distance. “When I am with you, there’s no place I’d rather be.” Yas, Clean Bandit, YAS! It’s just one simple line, but it’s my feelings exactly. I cannot tell you how excited I am that he will be visiting next month! There’s very few people in my life who makes me feel as happy as he does and there’s nobody who makes me feel as loved as he does.

All quoted lyrics founds on www.azlyrics.com.

Inspired by the LDRBN prompt: Ten Songs

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My LDR Journey: 5 Lessons I’ve Learned So Far

Six months into my LDR, there are so many things that I have learned. For those of you who are just starting out on your LDR journey or for those of you who are just interested in what I have learned, here are the top 5 lessons I have learned on my LDR journey so far.

Start from a place of trust.

To me, trust is one of the key elements in a LDR. I think that if I didn’t trust Richard, I would be constantly nervous about the state of our relationship. Not that I don’t have my moments of insecurities – I am human after all! But if I were constantly worrying about Richard straying or constantly doubting his words, it would really distract me from doing my part in growing our relationship in a positive way. I really feel like if you’re in a LDR with someone, you’re making a huge commitment out of love. So, why not start from that positive perspective and trust the person you’re choosing to be with?!

Subpoint to this lesson: If your ex or exes hurt you in the past, I know it’s difficult to place trust in other people again. But as someone whose ex LDR SO cheated on her, hear me out on this one: Do not let your current LDR SO pay for your past. I know it is so much easier said than done, but everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. More importantly, you deserve to start your LDR on the right, positive foot.

Keep your expectations realistic.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned in life, not just on my LDR journey, has been to keep expectations realistic, even to keep them low. If you guys follow Jenna Marbles, you’ll know that she posted a video on this exact topic, and she captures my feelings on it perfectly.

Ultimately, it’s great to have goals for yourself and your relationships. The problem, I find, comes when your expectations are just so high that as soon as you or your SO don’t meet these expectations, you get disillusioned with your SO and/or your relationship. And that leads me to my next lesson learned…

Take it one day at a time.

Just because all of the boxes are ticked on one day of your relationship does not mean that the rule will apply the next day. Every day is a new opportunity to grow. Sometimes you’ll succeed, and sometimes you’ll fail. I really encourage all of you to embrace that two-sided coin when it comes to your LDR. Remember: For a flower to grow, it needs rain and sunshine. So, take a deep breath and take everything one step at a time to grow the beautiful relationship you deserve.

Be open, honest, and communicative.

We’re so lucky that we live in a time where communication technology has grown leaps and bounds from where it was even 20 years ago! We have so many options to communicate with people regardless of how far away from us. But none of those options work without being open, honest, and communicative with your SOs in LDRs. If you don’t like something, say it. If you feel scared about something, even if you can’t explain it, voice it. Nothing you have to share with your SO is insignificant.

Without proper communication, I think a LDR doesn’t have much to stand on. The quantity of your communication matters less than the quality of your communication. So, if that means you have to talk 24/7 or only once a week, as long as you get fulfillment and joy out of your LDR, that’s what I think matters!

Take time for you.

I wrote about this before, but I can’t emphasize enough how important “you” time is in any relationship – LDR or not. Go out with your friends. Explore your interests – academic, professional, personal. Meet new people. Challenge yourself. Travel! There’s so much to do in this world and in life. Give yourself a chance and live life to the fullest!

Inspired by the LDRBN Blogging Prompt: Pre-LDR

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