Tag: long distant romance

Opening Up

Hi, guys! 

So, I’ve never really opened up on here, but I thought that as we’re approaching 300 followers (OH. MY. GOD. THANK YOU! WHAT?!) that I would share something personal with you.

My mom has been away for the last 2 months, and all day, I have been thinking about how excited I am that my mom is coming home tomorrow morning. It makes me laugh a bit because not even a year ago, it would have been something I dreaded. 

You see, my mom and I haven’t always been on the same page – and that’s an understatement in regard to some situations. And one of our biggest fights came when she met Richard for the first time. Putting it lightly, she was not excited about the fact that I was in a serious, committed relationship with him. 

I think some background information here would help: When my mom was 21, she almost lost everything in one of the deadliest earthquakes in recorded history. 70,000 people died due to the earthquake and the landslide induced by its aftershocks. My mom lived under a dining room table for two weeks until she was able to contact an uncle of hers, who picked her up and took her, my aunts and my grandmother in. From that moment, my mom devoted every ounce of her being to making a better life for herself and chasing the American Dream. And she achieved that Dream. And when she adopted me, she was at the sweet spot we all dream of: She was married to her soulmate. She was working a job she loved and gave her stability, and she was living the white picket fence life in the suburbs of the DMV area. So, naturally, she must have envisioned my soulmate as someone who would be able to offer this kind of life, if not better, especially because she worked so hard to come from nothing to become something.

Then, Richard came around. When I met Richard, he had just graduated from university and was on the job hunt. But more importantly, he proved to me that he had a heart of gold, incredible ambition, a great sense of humor, and a sincerity that still touches me to this day. From my perspective, he wasn’t where he wanted to be, but at 22, who is unless you’re a global superstar, a genius or the child of a billionaire? No hate on any of those people, but they’re rare, which is partly what makes them so cool. Anyways, Richard wasn’t where he wanted to be, but I could tell he had all the elements to get him where he wanted to be.

But my mom couldn’t truly focus on any of that. Instead, she focused on all of the negative: He didn’t have a master’s. He wasn’t 100% sure where he was going with his career. He wasn’t 100% sure how he was going to make it work when I moved to London. More than anything, the thing she didn’t like the most was the fact that he wasn’t someone she ever thought that I would end up with.

So, what’s my point? Why am I saying all this? 

When I go through the LDR tags on here, I can’t tell you how many times I see people seeking out advice for fighting the haters, handling the expectations, etc. I am so glad we have this amazing community on Tumblr where we can all come together and support one another when we face the negativity. I’m so glad the LDR community on here is incredibly supportive and most of all, empathetic.

So, I just wanted to say to all of you: When you know, you know. Keep fighting for the love you have. If your SO has a positive effect on you, makes you see the world in brighter colors and in higher definition, helps you get through your darkest days, does away with your darkest thoughts with just a simple call or a text: Gain strength from that! And if your parents, friends, etc. can’t see how happy you are, how you glow with every step and how you grow into the person you were destined to be because you have someone as amazing as your SO: KEEP. FIGHTING.

I know first hand how difficult it is to get off every phone call with your mom and be absolutely broken and devastated. I know what it’s like to see my mom off at the airport with angry tears streaming down my face. But when I look back at those bumpy times in my life and Richard texts me or calls me, I realize I made the best decision I have ever made in my life. And that feeling, not knowing your gamble was right but knowing that your gamble fulfilled your destiny, that’s worth fighting for.

Love, 

Cat

90 Day LDR Challenge: Day 5

Day 5: How did you meet? Tell us your story!

Cat: We met on OkCupid. Richard messaged me first, and I think what made me reply to him was the fact that he mentioned visiting America when he was younger. Plus, he looked super cute in his pictures. 😉 We started talking more and more, and the first day I got to Manchester, he asked me out to drinks and dinner, and I said yes! The rest is history… 🙂 

Richard: Well, since we met online, when we met in person, it was really natural. We just picked up where we left off, really. We went to one of my favorite spots, Font, where we had sandwiches and curly fries. 

Cat: I totally threw out the whole “Girls have to eat salad on the first date” rule. Curly fries. Fried fish sandwich. Drinks. Dessert. Get at me! Sorry, babe, continue…

Richard: It’s okay! Hell, I approved! Anyways, I remember on our walk back from the restaurant that I really wanted to hold her hand. And I thought I’d be cheesy and say “The roads are busy. So, I have to hold your hand when we cross the street so that nothing bad happens.” 

Cat: Umm, yeah, about that: There wasn’t a single car on the side street we were crossing when he told me that. 

Richard: It’s the ones you don’t see, babe! It’s the ones you don’t see… And so yeah, that was our first date. 🙂

90 Day LDR Challenge: Day 4

Day 4: What was your first impression of him/her?

Cat: I thought he was handsome and he seemed like such a sweet guy right off the bat. I don’t know how else to describe it, but I immediately felt that strange combination of butterflies and feeling like I had known him my whole life. 🙂

Richard: I thought she was very cute, really bubbly, and I knew we were going to get on like a house on fire.

90 Day LDR Challenge: Day 2

Day 2: Where do you both live, how many miles/kilometers apart are you, and what’s the time difference?

I live in Washington, DC and Richard lives in London. We are 3,226 miles apart, but hey, who’s counting, right? There’s a 5-hour time difference, but we make it work the best we can!

Message Us Monday

I hope you guys know that Richard and I here for you whenever you need a shoulder to lean on. 

Richard and I are committed to making our space a judgment free zone and a safe space. So, if you ever feel the need to reach out, we’ll be on the other side. 🙂 

I hope you all are having an amazing start to your week!

Your Love From Afar Challenge: Week 7

Monday- Tell us about your different cultures, languages, and customs.

How do you deal with each other having different cultures, languages, and customs? (If you have the same background explain how it affects the relationship)

Do you learn more about how the other person thinks when you learn about their culture?

What are some funny, frustrating, or surprising moments you have shared because of these differences?

Cat: Whoa, these are some good questions! Okay, so, I was born in Lima, Peru. My mom is Peruvian and my dad was American. So, I was kind of brought up as a hybrid of the two cultures. So, even though I’m Peruvian, I definitely identify with certain parts of American culture because I have lived here my whole life (essentially) and because my dad was American.

I can’t speak for Richard, but I really like having a different culture, language and customs from him. I feel like I have learned a lot about both British and Welsh cultures, and I have loved it, truly. I mean, Welsh is a really cool-sounding language. I can speak for Richard when I say he will totally disagree with me on that, haha! Overall we really enjoy learning about each other’s cultures from each other. It’s been a really fun learning experience for us and our families!

I definitely have learned more about Richard’s mindset since I have learned about his culture. He really does embody the phrase, “Keep calm and carry on,” even though that phrase totally annoys him, haha! And that’s one of the many things I love about him. And it’s completely opposite to my family: We’re passionate about everything we do – It’s the Latin in our blood, haha! I love the balance he puts in my life. 🙂

From what he has told me and from what I perceive, sometimes it does bother him when my family and I lose ourselves and start talking in Spanish in front of him. Oops… Our bad… But he wants to learn more Spanish, and since I’m definitely teaching our children Spanish in the future, he either needs to hop on board or our children and I are going to have secret conversations, haha! (You all heard it here first!)

To end on a happy note:The fun moments we’ve had in regards to our different cultures has been cooking for each other. Richard loved my lomo saltado, and his mom and he loved my chile relleno. And my family can’t stop raving about Richard’s homemade focaccia and Bakewell Tart. Food ftw.

Richard: For me I enjoy us sharing different backgrounds as it means we open our minds to new ways of thinking, and collectively we make better decisions. I studied Spanish at GCSE level (14-16) but I have forgotten a lot unfortunately… Apart from enough to say silly things haha In terms of culture, we do compliment each other, as Cat gets me to dream more and be more hopeful and I keep her calm.

Yes, some times the Spanish speaking does bother me 😛 From my own background of growing up in a two lanaguage country, the social rule was essentially that if everyone speaks a shared lanaguage, then that’s the one you use apart from if you’re stuck on a word to use etc. I do feel bad getting annoyed with it but sometimes when I can’t take part in conversations that are happening by me, it does get to me. But, I do want to learn Spanish to have better conversations, teach our future children Spanish, and for business use in the states 🙂

As Cat says, food has played a very big part with our families connecting 🙂 I also made a Christmas dinner for Cat’s mum and Aunt when they were here for Christmas which went down really well! There will be competition in the future, but we actually cook our Christmas dinners on separate days (24th and 25th) so it’s all good!

Overall, any quirks have been growing pains when two cultures come together but 99% has been great and we’re in it for the long haul 🙂 She’s definitely improved my life and my outlook and I’m very thankful for having her in my life 🙂