theoceanapart:

It’s known to every LDR couple that one of the most amazing experiences is meeting each other for the first time (if you haven’t already met). And it is indeed.

The thousands kinds of feelings you get are overwhelming and it is amazing to deal with all of them. But I should add that with that sea of feelings comes a big wave of emptiness. And that’s this ‘emptiness’ we’re going to talk about.

On the one hand, there are a lot of things I wish someone would’ve told me before I met Kevin in person that would help me a lot. And on the other hand I know that 90% would be useless because no relationship is equal to the other, which makes it difficult to give advices that will fit every single couple on the LDR community.

On the next topics I not only try to explain how to deal with the airport/train station"goodbye" but also to reach every single aspect that are common to LDR Couples.

After you’ve hugged and kissed for the last time in some weeks/months/years, it would be good if you tried to:

1- Be sad:

And cry, and be alone and feel like the world is ending. On the first visit I had, I tried my best to hold feelings back. I held my tears only to find out that I would have to cry them after that anyways. Let yourself feel just for the fact that it is a sad situation, no one would like to be separated who-knows-until-when from the person they love. Don’t try to hold it back and let things be, crying is good when you need to let a bad feeling out. Which takes us to topic two.

2- Lean on each other:

Don’t try to look strong or be alone. Hug each other and talk about the feelings you have about one of you leaving, you both surely are feeling the same way and talking about it may let the other person know how to deal better with it or be strong when you need them. You will learn to trust each other better and the post-sadness you’ll get will be way lighter, because you went through the rough part together. And that leads us to topic number three.

3- Have a “deadline” to your sadness.

The name of the topic says it all. Acknowledging your feelings is good, but you also have to start getting better and feeling motivated again.  I would say it’s the worst thing to do after the goodbye. You have to be strong, take a deep breath and know that in a short spam of time, your life needs to get in track again to keep planning on being together. It might get to you out of nowhere and go away as soon as it came. Your feelings will be mixed and you’ll be amazed to see how many good and bad feelings you can have in a day. Don’t worry, you’ll feel happier more frequently until you get back on where you were before the visit.

4- Make the last day an “Organizing day”:

Nothing worse then finding his/her sock somewhere a day after your significant other left. It’s good if you both make the bags together and organize stuff in order to make sure there are going to be no ‘surprise’ things left. That will hurt.

5- Be sure to leave something to remember.

As bad as finding surprise things around the house might be, having something to remember might be good when you’re not feeling too well. You will miss their smell most of it all, so I recommend something that has his/her perfume on it. As cheesy as it sounds, it will calm you down for a little while, specially a week or two after you’ve left.

6- Plan something small:

After a visit, you’ll both probably be broke. Plan on sending a letter and some treats within the first month after you’ve been together. Write about the trip, send them chocolate, sweet things that will remind them how good it is to be together. It’s also something to look forward and keeping your minds out of the fact that you’re not together. Expecting something good is one of the best ways of getting happier together.

7- Do what makes you happy:

As talked in the beginning, the strongest feeling that is going to appear is the emptiness, and it’s going to stay for a while.  Getting back on track might be boring. Same work, same room, same University, same people and it goes on. Find something you love and make sure you do it whenever you can. It will help you to feed yourself with some happy feelings that are going to end up helping you to deal with everything else. It will make you to feel better, think better and start planning for the next visit again. It will also help to make your Skype/phone conversations more exciting so you don’t only talk about how difficult the situation is or that your  day was not exciting.

Don’t worry, is just a lot of different feelings you’ll experience all at once that you’ll have to straighten up to. They go away and come back sometimes and it just shows how good your experience was and how worth it is to wait for the “hello” again.

To all of you that have never experienced a goodbye, deep breath and be strong, to the ones that are experiencing it now (including me), it’s not forever, soon you’ll have your countdowns again to look forward.

LDR’s are worth every single feeling you can have. It makes you strong and learn to have control over your own body. It will never be easy, but again, after the rain always comes the rainbow. It’s not different with us.